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Tami's BlogLearn those common social etiquette mistakes
Tami Lancut Leibovitz
On August 2nd, we celebrate National Friendship Day. And like many other American holidays, Hallmark Card Company was the initiator of the day, with hopes to sell more greeting cards. The tradition started in 1919 and died around the 1940’s, until the UN decided to re-issue the day with regard to friendships between countries and states – most countries celebrates in different days of the first week of August while the UN officially celebrates it today on July 30th. The UN promotes a message of peace, unity and diversity between fellow citizens of the world.
For us, it’s great chance to take an in-deep look into the etiquette of friendship and examine ourselves.
It seems like friendship is a field that don’t need no etiquette, it’s a natural instinct between a few people. Or is it?
Actually, when starting a new friendship or maintaining a veteran one, you can make social mistakes that will hurt the other person or hurt the relationship. Taking your friends for granted (Not returning a phone call, forgetting an important date) can’t always work under the terms of “they will forgive me”, “they know how I am” and so on. People that we consider close and that they are a big part of our lives, are not immune for getting hurt from our behavior, doesn’t matter how many years he has been knowing us and what we went to together – always keep it in mind!
With that being said, some friends have the kind of friendship that don’t follow the codes and the rules, some true friendships always hold, and a friend can pick up a phone after years and feel like nothing ever changed. Know how to recognize your relationship with the person and act accordingly.
Let’s go through the most common social mistakes friends tend to fall into, check yourself to see which one you tend to make:
Not introducing your new friend or colleague:
When you fail to introduce friends from different groups to one another, you seem like you are not interested in the friendship or the connection between the two. Catch yourself and make sure all the friends you invited to the event will feel comfortable. If you know that there are people in the party or the event with mutual interest, don’t hesitate to mention it to one another.
Late arrival:
It’s important to keep a timely manner, not only with business situations, in friendships also. Running late sends a very simple message to the other person, that his time is not as important as yours, that you believe your time is more valuable. Now, it might not be correct, but it can be very offensive to your friend, especially if it’s a reoccurring thing. You might not mean to hurt the person, you just have a tendency to be late! But that is not enough, you should either try harder or give up the friendship. If you can’t find the time to make it on time, you’re either too busy or don’t care about that friend as much as you say you do.
Feeling too comfortable to criticize or offend:
It happens, we all have bad temper sometime and we all get upset. First of all, if a friend seems to upset you too often, maybe you should get the hint and step back. If it was a random argument or you just got too comfortable and forgot your manners, try to re-route your communication into a more graceful outlet. Gossiping within a group of friends is one way to offend your friend or spilling the beans face to face. If he is a real friend, you should be able to have a respectful conversation and sort everything out.
Screening calls/not returning calls:
If you are one of those people – you know you are! Some people are too busy to answer calls and never bother to return calls. It might seem like not a big deal to some of us, but many friends take this subject very seriously. If you see you can’t answer, send a message and explain. If you failed to return a call and the person calls again, make sure you pick up and apologize for the last conversation you missed. If your work or your routine doesn’t allow you to be available for calls, make sure new friends realize that and not think you are just completely rude.
Friendship is a wonderful thing to have, to comfort us, to build us up and to have as a support system – never take it for granted!
If you have any question about friendship etiquette or any other etiquette issue, please feel free to visit the question section on my site and leave me one - http://bit.ly/AskTami or write me at tami@tll.co.il, I will be happy to help!
For more about social, political and business etiquette, please visit my website!